Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Opening paragraphs

I took fourth place in the Best Opening Paragraph contest sponsored by SoWrite.Us.com. Here's the paragraph, it's from my upcoming novel Eminent Domain.

Jake Terry didn't want any trouble, but trouble was knocking on his front door. The horse he had liked in the fifth race didn't like him back, so now he owed some cash to a bookie named Cal. Jumping through a window from the eighth floor wasn't an option, so he had no choice but to open the door to a couple of Cal's associates. When he did, they lunged toward him. Jake pushed back, but the larger one grabbed his right hand and pulled the door shut on his fingers.

I’ve included a link to their website. They’re sponsoring a spam contest this month! Check it out for more information!

Thanks, Jim Bessey!


  1. Congratulations, Mary! I can understand why your paragraph was chosen. Amazing opening! Can't wait to read the entire book! :)

  2. Excellent for any paragraph but enticing for a first paragraph for sure. Thanks for the share and for the link.

  3. That was a great abnd exciting opening! Congratulations.

  4. Thank you for your kindness. But when I read it again, I realized that every sentence has a comma in the middle. I should have alternated short and long! Does the editing ever stop?????

  5. Mary--Congrats. And I guess the answer is "No, the editing never stops." We're always looking at our stuff and retinkering...

  6. So cool, Mary, congratulations!

    Critter Alley